whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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