when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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