Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
