Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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