i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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