I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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