My friends, they love my intelligence
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
