Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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