I'm gonna have a badass scar
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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