He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
