she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize