weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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