i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
