good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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