I could make wine with my vomit
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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