You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
