everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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