He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
