I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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