Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
