I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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