My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
