guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
