I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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