If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize