Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
