You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
