when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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