That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
