i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
