That reminds me...we need to get swords
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
