somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
