i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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