we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize