I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
