It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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