Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
