I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
