Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
