I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
