Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
