So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it because I queefed?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
