we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize