My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
