My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
