The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
