Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
