Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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