I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Terrible idea I love it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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