Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
