That's intense
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
