There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
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I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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