i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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