I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
