Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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