is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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