We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
