did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
