Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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