But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
