Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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