Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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