I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
