you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
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at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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