well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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