so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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