if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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