Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
