So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
