I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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